The Rise And Fall Of Ernie The Chuck.

Ernie’s existence began in a laboratory, not a farm.
He was not borne in an egg until he was born,
but in a test tube that once contained 
the sperm of his father chicken
and the ovum of his mother duck.
Part chicken, part duck
Ernie was a chuck,
the only chuck on earth.

The scientists who created Ernie,
also genetically modified and enhanced him.
They prodded and poked him,
shoved chemicals and other things down his throat
and up his anus.
They dropped and sprayed all manner 
of substances into his eyes.
They kept him in darkness,
then in intense light.
Everyday they found a new way 
to torture and torment him.

Then, one day, it happened.
Don’t ask how; don’t ask why.
It could have been any number of factors.
Some say it was divine intervention;
others blame diabolical interference.
Whatever the reason
on that day,
Ernie the Chuck became
self –aware and meta-cognizant
He could talk (several human and animal languages in fact)
But he kept mute and waited.
Waited for the moment he might extract his revenge.

A year and two months later
that day came to pass.
Taken out his cramped cage,
to be paraded around for the benefit of visiting European scientists,
Ernie ceased the moment with the fury of Shiva.
He was a big burly bird who could fly like a duck.
He had the claws of a rooster
and a beak as big as a duck’s bill.

His revenge was swift and brutal,
A scenario of slaughter,
best not told nor shown. 

Ernie the chuck, now on the run,
planned to impregnate all forms of fowl: 
ducks, hens, ganders, and swans.
He would the preach his mission and manifesto to his offspring
and the offspring of his offspring and their offspring too.
He would preach that when the poultry
of this world seize the means of production
the tyranny of humanity would be at an end
and the Earth would become the Planet of the Poultry.

That was his plan.
Lucky for us humans,
He got hit by a van, filled with bogans
as he walked across a road.